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May 13th, 2006
02:07 am - This one should please Kev!!!
Just spotted this on IMDB
Bill Duke - X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) .... Bolivar Trask
The Duke, hot off his role on Battlestar is playing the Sentinel-creator himself. Surely The Duke could deal with those pesky mutants himself without giant robots though?
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April 15th, 2006
07:29 am - Birthday celebrations
Hi all
Just a quick reminder that it's my Birthday party on Saturday 22nd. We're booking the upstairs of the Old Orleans for the shindig and its £7 per head if you want to come. If you are able to come, and haven't already sent confirmation, can you email me TODAY!!! as I need to book the numbers.
Hope to see you there
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April 4th, 2006
09:00 am - One Foot in the Grave
Its getting close now.... I can feel the creak in my bones. Old father time sits outside my house, ominously waiting. I now feel that these rock band I used to like are just noise. I'm getting old....
Or more specifically, I'm turning 30. On the 23rd April to be precise. And, it has been decided that a LARGE party is in order.
We've decided to hire a function room for the 22nd of April in the Old Orleans. We're going to be meeting at 6pm for cocktails (how posh) and then there's going to be a buffet at 7.30pm (Old Orleans are charging £7 for the food per person for anyone who wants to eat)
If you want to come along, please do so - everyone is welcome, but we need to know numbers by the 15th so we can book, so can you e-mail me or reply to this post if you're interested in turning up.
Hope to see you there
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March 23rd, 2006
11:29 pm - It's worse than that he's dead Jim
All Trek fans need to check this out (check it out if you like a laugh as well)
http://www.idleworm.com/sfi/strek.shtml
KHANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
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06:31 pm - Stupid people
As I had little change to get the bus this morning, I decided to pick up a copy of the Daily Star - known for its accurate potrayal of every day life, and..... well, we all know what else's it's known for (I only buy it for the articles)
Flicking through the usual rubbish I picked up on two amusing stories I thought I'd share.
The first is surely a case for stupid death of the year. Apparently a hotel manager was killed when he boiled to death. How could he have done such a thing I hear you ask? Did he fall into his chef's industrial sized cooking pot and get served as the evening meal? Did he pass out in a sauna and shrink to the size of a prune? No.
While wearing a latex all-over body suit, the hotel manager started taking cocaine and, the resultant increase in body temperature led the poor man to be flash fried in his ony kinky outfit. Can you imaging the guys mother at his funeral trying to explain how he died?
The second story is just a case of utter stupidity. Two men were rightly pissed off after buying two laptops of some guys on the street for £600 to find that the boxes they had only contained onions. Would you fork out £300 of your cash for something without checking the merchandise? I don't think so.
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March 20th, 2006
09:40 am - Tales from the Airport Crypt
Well, I made it home safe and sound without any premonitions of impending death (Hollywood movies are completely wrong) and have finally had a (reasonably) good nights sleep.
While coming through Bangkok airport there was a little trouble however. Now, I'm not a terrorist (although, if the adverts are to be believed, I may have funded terrorism if I've ever illegally owned something) and certainly do not understand the way that a terrorist thinks. And, as such, when I originally got to Thailand and unpacked my bags, the small, insignificant pair of scissors my Brother had left in my bag was placed to one side.
Now, it seems, in this post 9-11 era (would that be anytime from 12 onwards?) you're not allowed any sharp objects aboard a plane in your hand luggage. Obviously they're afraid that you might want to cut the pilot's hair during the flight and, seeing you've given him a mullet, he plows the plane into the nearest available mountain.
So, I pass my bag through the scanner do-dad and walk through the beeping machine (I swear there's a guy in the corner making the thing go off for his own amusement) and I'm hauled aside by some people and told of my act of terrorism. They swiftly confescate the poor scissors and tell me I can't have it back. Now, it wasn't mine to begin with, but I do feel sorry for the scissors at this point.
The security guard takes the scissors and places it into a large, see-through box, filled with similar items. And it was these other items that caught my attention. Now, the majority of the items were more scissors, so my fears for the scissors future life was unfounded - he'll be amongst ex-patriate scissors here. There was also a fair amount of knives of various descriptions. Sat in a corner was a pair of brass nuks. And then my eyes fell upon one final item............... a meat cleaver.
Someone thought they could bring a meat cleaver aboard a plane. Perhaps they were planning on making their own food as the airlines meager fare left much to the imagination.
My brush with terrorism over, I board the plane and have travel backwards through the time zones. Based on local times in the two areas, it took me 21 hours to fly to Bangkok and only 8 hours to come back. Does that mean I'm now 15 hours younger than I was???
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) exhausted
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March 16th, 2006
01:55 pm - Review WCW Thailand Adventures part 3
Its the final day, so for one last time from the Land of Smiles, an update.
I've been here for the best part of 2 weeks now and I think its time for some contemplation on how things have been. To do this, lets compare Thailand to Wales.
Food
Okay, Thailand wins this hands down. Any food you can get in Wales you can get in larger quantites for less money. All you can eat Steak for 199 baht (that's about 3 quid), large pizza's for about 249 baht (3.50) and, the old favourites - KFC bargain bucket for 5 quid and Subway sub of the day for a quid. Now that's not to say I didn't try the local food as well, as there was a great selection every morning for breakfast.
So that's 1-0 to Thailand.
Cost of living
Following on from the food, the cost of everything in Thailand is cheap like the budgey. Bartering is a way of life and if you're not happy with the price you can normally talk them down to half that buy pretending to have a heart attack (or even offering to crush them as my brother found useful) You can buy a 3 bed house with its own swimming pool for 1.6 million baht (thats approx 23 grand for something that would cost mega bucks back home)
The Wales defense is in tatters as Thailand goes up 2 to nothing!!!!!!
Cleanliness
Now I'm sure we all know some dives back home, but you haven't seen anything like the conditions in some parts of this town. The smells emanating from the open drains is enough to make you sick, and diseased cats and dogs roam the streets (or generally sleep in the middle of the pavement). The hotels are always clean though, so you're not living in filth, but to get anywhere you're going to encounter some nasty stuff.
It's Giggs with a corking goal - they're still in this match - its 2-1 to Thailand.
Nightlife
This one comes down to personal choice. There's always something going on in the town. The market stalls are open until 11pm most nights, and its usually easier to shop at night due to the (slightly) lower temperatures. The problems come with the bars. If you like going to the pub and constantly being bothered by skanky ladies that want payment for their time, then the bars of Thailand are the place for you. If you prefer a nice pint and to watch a bit of footy in peace, look elsewhere.
Giggs again - he's volleyed over the lady-boy defense and score his second, and the equaliser - its 2-2
The Women
Inherent problems here - is it a woman or a very good plastic surgery job???? It a very crucial factor in deciding if you wish to take things further. You could look at other tourists, but (and this may have just been our hotel) they were all German and already spoken for. So, based on the perils of potential lady boys, I'm giving this round to Wales.
Thats 3-2 folks to Wales - it's a slobberknocker!!!
The Weather
Do I need to say anything - ok, it was 34 degrees every day and didn't get much cooler in the evenings. It rained once, for about 20 minutes and was dry again five minutes later. Meanwhile, back home you had snow.
Thailand are back level pegging here at 3 all.
Public transport
Your average Cardiff taxi starts with 1.30 on the clock before you sit down, and adds an extra quid after midnight. Your mini-bus system in Thaliand charges 10 baht per person for however far you wish to go - thats 16p per person. Petrol over here is really cheap at about 38p per gallon. The Thai's win hands down
Its the final seconds of injury time, and the Thai's sneak in with a final goal - Thailand wins 4-3
And there you have it - a fun two weeks with lots of experiences under my belt and a few stories to tell. The few things that were'nt quite so good (mainly insect bites) were outweighed by all the good. I'd recommend coming to experience a different type of life.
They think the holiday's over - it is now!
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March 15th, 2006
08:29 pm - G'day - I'm Nathan Jones, and I can't Wrestle
He He... This won't mean much to anyone unless you were watching WWE programming in 2003, but I just watched a hong kong action movies featuring the "Beast of Bogo Row" Nathan Jones. Mr. Jones was a rather large, rather untalented wrestler from Australia that suffered from a disease common in professional wrestling - being a generic big-man.
His main gimmick was that he had spent the last 10 years in prison and was now a nut-case. During a tour of Australia, Jones decided he had had enough of wrestling and ran away. He just walked off into the sunset (possibly to the sound of James Blunt.... I mean the Incredible Hulk theme). He later appears as the generic big man Brad Pitt kills at the beginning of Troy.
Anyway, back to the HK movie - The film was unsubtitled and in an annoying mix of languages so you could never get the exact gist of what was going on. What I managed to determine was that the main character had lost his elephant (Simpsons did it). Some how the Elephant made its way to Australia and gets involved with a evil organisation led by foxy whip-lady (for lack of an actual name). The lead turns up at evil HQ in time to watch a VERY large man pick up his elephant and throw it through a plate glass window! Thats lifting a WHOLE elephant and throwing it through a window. Beat that Geoff Capes!
Jones plays one of the foxy whip lady's evil bodyguards and basically throw the lead character around until his hamstrings are cut and his neck broken by the main hero's calf muscles.
If anyone wants to see this (and the fight scenes are pretty impressive) its called Tom yum goong and was made in 2005.
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March 13th, 2006
03:34 pm - Thailand adventures Part 2
Well, the holidays nearly at an end, so here's a second update on my adventures in the Land of Confusion (not an old Genesis song, just a place where you have to look at a woman twice before deciding if you fancy them or not)
I've managed to survive most of the dangerous elements of this land so far - the insect kingdom has taken a particular interest in my ankles and have decided that my Dad represents their main course - he's covered in large swollen bite marks - he kind of looks a bit like a leper at the moment.
Operation: Slave Labour continues - for those not in the know, my parents (specifically my Dad) are starting a company to arrange jobs for trained people in countries like the Philippines to help them get visas, mMainly aimed at Doctors and that kind of profession. Now, my Mum's going on about starting up massage parlours in Cardiff using Thai ladies (I don't think she knows massage parlours have a different reputation in our country, but I haven't the heart to tell her)
The people of this country appear to believe my brother is Buddha. They worship him. We were bowling the other day and they were all behind him, clapping - giving him special equipment to ensure he beat me. And then, a few days later, we were walking down the street, and a random woman stopped him and rubbed his belly for luck! Finally my Brother has found a job where he can sit around all day doing nothing and still be the Centre of attention for a whole country.
He dragged me jet-skiing yesterday. This developed in me another random fear - this time sharks. Convinced I would fall off and have a leg eaten, I was quite apprehensive of the whole thing. However, once you get on one of those things and start it up - it's amazing. Zipping across the harbour avoiding boats and other lunatics using similar equipment to yours. The 30 mins was up far too soon and I can't wait to go again.
Just a couple of days left to go, and still so much to do. My brother threatened to take me to the Crocodile farm to wrestle the beasts. I think I'll let him go first...
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March 5th, 2006
12:46 pm - Thailand Adventures Part 1
Well, I made it safe and sound to Thailand despite a few ups and downs along the way. Things started of Thursday morning.... There was the usual last minute rushing around, getting the last few things in order(the parents worried about the packing while me and my brother went for a breakfast - get the priorities in order!) At as close to 10am as out eating would allow, we set off in hopes of catching our plane in time... However, things were against us from the start
We immediately ran into a traffic jam (and when I say immediately, I mean 2 minutes down the road) So after about 10 minutes of this, my Dad started getting uptight and spun us around to try another route. 20 minutes out of our way, and we managed to get back on track, only to hit a 2nd jam, and this time there was no escape. We spent the first hour of the journey trying to get onto the M4 but eventually we were on the fast track out of our snow filled country.
Fortunately, we didn't see any other traffic all the way to Birmingham (after messing around with us the traffic gods decided to give us a break) and a 100 mile/hour rush got us to the airport with plenty of time to spare.
So the time for the flight came. A quick hours flight to Amsterdam for a smoke and a pancake before the backbreaking trip to Thailand. Only one problem... Now, its been quite a while since I'd last flown (back in 2001 when I went to America). There were no problems that time, all smooth sailing. However, since then a few things have changed - mainly to do with my choices of televisual watching. I'm a big fan of Lost (and have also seen Final Destination 1 since I last flown - FD2 has betting killings in it though!) and it appears to have filled me with an inner dread of flying. This wasn't helped that a good friend of mine gets so nervous of flying she has to be drugged to get on the damn plane. White knuckled, and strapped in the plane shoots itself into the sky and we're off. I pass time by constantly talking to whoever will listen, generally waking my mum up every 5 seconds. And then it happens.....
The plane jerked and there was a muffled sound outside the window. I looked out the window in horror, expecting to see some sort of gremlin eating through the engine but there was nothing. Either it was a case of bird strike, or there's one less superhero in the world. Eventually we start our decent into Amsterdam. Little worrying is the fact that everything is covered in snow. This will be fun.
Our schedule was such that we had approximately 3 hours of waiting time in Amsterdam so we busied ourselves in wandering around an overly large airport complex. My brother went off to the casino to pass his time, while I hung around the deli counters studying the strange food they have there. Eventually our plane is ready and we all rush to the gates. Sat there all strapped in, the pilot comes on the radio
"We've got snow and ice on the wings so it could be dangerous to fly" - you couldn't have told me that before I got on? "If things get worse we might have to spray the plane so we'll be another hour" - if I could have got off I would have - I'm in a frozen death trap about to die due to the weather conditions - the gods really hate me today. So we're driven to a special part of the runway and hosed down with anti-freeze and the driver thinks (he actually said thinks) it will be okay.
Clutching the arms of my seat, and listening to David Bowie on my IPOD (In the hopes that any explosion will have the added effect of sending me back to 1973 so I can leave a message for myself not to fly to Thailand) we hurl ourselves into the sky for our 9 hour flight.
As I'm writing this currently, the astute amongst you will realise I'm still alive and both my hands still work so the flight was a success in my eyes. We weird timing of things mean I've lost approximately 6 hours during the flight. I'll need to collect a form to claim those hours back - I might need them later in life.
We eventually arrive at Bangkok airport. A modern affair with nice air conditioning and pleasant people - a good start. Managing to pick up the luggage, we book a taxi to the hotel (about hour and a half away) and step out of the building. Now, if you have ever wondered what a tesco value meal feels like when it's put into the microwave, try going to Thailand. A wave of heat washed over us making it incredibly hard to move anything more than a few feet before wanting to collapse - I'm going to have a problem here...
As you're bombing it down the motorway, a few things enter your mind - firstly, all the signs in Thailand are massive. Either everyone's short sighted or they're target audience for these products are couple of countries away. Secondly, as you peer out the windows you'll catch the glimpse of the occasional elephant. They were just standing in a field passing the day. All these years Babar lied to me - they don't live in cities in the jungle. And finally there's the traffic itself.
Now, for anyone who's ever played any Grand Theft Auto game, you will be able to picture the scene. The drivers have no regard for themselves or anyone else for that matter, and will over/undertake anyone they can, even if the gap isn't big enough. Even the hard should is not off limits to these guys, Its like a ballet on wheels (with 2 ton ballet-dancers) It was about half way through this journey that my Mum realises that we've left one of the bags back at the airport - Great! My stuffs still here so let them go back for it.
We soon arrive at the hotel and drop off the stuff, and quickly head off for a bit of sight seeing. And its time to confront my 2nd fear - traffic. I've always had a problem with roads - ever since my Brother was run over on a zebra crossing by an Ambulance (and ambulance which didn't stop to pick him up by the way) Curiously, he has no problems crossing the road though - he's faced his fear and conquered it. Anyway, the reckless abandon that these drivers have continues with crossing the road. There are few crossings around, and the cars don't stop at those that do exist. So, you basically have to run across any streets constantly on the look out for deadly engines of destruction bearing down on you.
Okay, I'm at the hotel safely and two fears have been countered. Now as long as I can survive the insect bites, bird flu, oncoming traffic, lady boys and my own family, I might make it back in one piece.
See you soon
Current Mood: hot
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